Comlicated
by AjadeaLynneSmith
Summary: Sarah Jane Smith looks back on her life while she travels onward with her future. Rated M for future chapters
1. Prologue

Complicated

Prologue

Sarah Jane Smith: Time-traveler, Journalist, Mum, Baby Sitter, Earth's savior on a bi-weekly basis. I'm the madwoman of Bannerman Road. These were the first words that ran through Sarah Jane's mind as she collapsed heavily onto the old, worn down, maroon sofa in her big lonely attic in Ealing. Sure, she had the gang, but they were growing up fast and they would all eventually follow in Luke's footsteps, leaving Sarah Jane all alone again.

Luke Smith was an alien experiment, made by the Bane, with a brain better than Einstein. He had saved the world the day he was born, and Sarah Jane immediately took a liking to him. She adopted him that day, but now he's off at Oxford University. He was accepted two years early and has been taking classes there for the last year and a half.

Maria Jackson and her dad, Alan, moved back to Bannerman Road. Alan had quit his job and they came back for his new occupation. Next week, Alan would start as Torchwood 3's new technical adviser, working alongside the infamous Captain Jack Harkness, the clever Gwenevere "Gwen" Cooper, and their other new associate, Rex Matheson. Maria doesn't quite approve of this but she'll get over it. She's going steady in twelfth grade and already got her acceptance letter from Oxford. By this time next year, she'll be beside Luke every second of the day. They, too, have been 'going steady' since Luke asked her out her second day home. Everyone thinks it's about time those two saw what everyone else has seen the last five years.

Rani Chandra and Clyde Langer have been together for four months now. Everyone is relieved that they have stopped being blind too; they were even more obvious then Luke and Maria. They are both finishing twelfth grade with flying colors. After school, Rani is going to take up a journalism apprenticeship with Sarah Jane while attending a literary based collage. Gita, Rani's mother, swears up and down that she's going to end up as a big news reporter for BBC1 one day. Haresh, Rani's father and the headmaster of Park Vale School (where all the kids attended at some point), is so proud of his 'Little Princess'.

Clyde and his mother Carla haven't heard from his dad since the last time he left them high and dry, but they are pulling through just fine. Clyde still cooks dinner every other night, and is always helping out around the house whenever he can. Even though he pretends to be such a cool, jokester/jock (which constantly gets on Haresh's nerves), he really is an intelligent young gentleman. He will be attending London's best Fine Arts Academy after finishing grade school, to live out his dream and start his own comic book series.

Skylar Jane Smith is an alien. She saved the world, regenerated miraculously, and almost committed genocide the day she was born. She was adopted by Sarah Jane and she is loved far more than she believes. She'll be turning thirteen and starting seventh grade next school year. She's a very bright little girl, but she always feels as if she's just Luke's replacement. She knows that it's not true, but she still has a hard time believing that everyone accepts her just the way she is. She looks up to both Luke and Clyde like her big brothers, and she looks up to Rani like a big sister. She's still getting used to her powers, so every time she gets upset or angry the electricity goes haywire. Sarah Jane always tells her that she doesn't mind, that it's going to happen whether she likes it or not and she'll try her best to help her sort her powers out.

Sarah Jane has really kept quiet and stuck to the background lately, watching everything unfold. Sometimes she still can't believe that she really does have a family. She can't help but think of the Doctor every day, no matter how much it hurts her to think about him. She still feels the sting of abandonment and replacement. He had left her all alone on Earth, just out of the blue one day. She still misses all their traveling and all the secret moments they would steal when they were alone. He'd left her and went right on traveling with younger, fresher models. Meeting Rose at Defrey Vale was her point of realization. Meeting Jack, Gwen, Ianto Jones, Martha Jones, Mickey Smith, Donna Noble, and Jo Jones (nee Grant) was just salt in her wounds.

She knows that the Doctor never meant to hurt her and she knows that he'll never return her love, but she can't help the way she feels. She had always been sensitive. Too many things have happened to her in so little time. She has lost so much and life has left its many scars on her. She can't help but cry whenever she thinks about her parents, her Aunt Lavinia, Andrea Yates, the Brigadier, or Harry. So many people that have all meant so much to her are all gone now. Some of them taken by illnesses and tragic accidents, and the others by old age. She'll find herself always thinking 'Why does everything have to be so complicated?'


	2. Chapter 1: What About Now

**Chapter 1: What About Now**

Sarah Jane Smith was at it again. She just got home from chasing a pack of carnivorous aliens that had come to Earth to feast on the humans. Clyde and Rani had gone home early, disappointed that she wouldn't let them help because it was, as Sarah Jane put it, "far too dangerous for kid- I mean young adults such as yourselves."

She had the house to herself for the night because Rani had agreed to have Sky sleep over her house, neither of them knowing what time Sarah Jane would return. That was clearly a good decision as she turns to glance at the clock on the mantle of her Victorian fireplace and sees that it is past one in the morning. She locks the doors behind her and travels through the large, empty house in the dark.

She trudges up the last flight of stairs that lead up to her big, old attic. As she swung the attic door wide open and dropped her overly large hand bag at the door. 'Sarah Jane Smith: Time-traveler, Journalist, Mum, Baby Sitter, Earth's savior on a bi-weekly basis. The madwoman of Bannerman Road!' These were the first words that ran through Sarah Jane's mind as she collapsed heavily onto the old, worn down, maroon sofa lying in the back of the vast third floor.

She was visibly exhausted as her complexion had gone completely alabaster and dark rings were now prominently circling her eyes. Sarah Jane wasn't really the kind of girl to plaster her face with make-up galore. Maybe some foundation when she isn't feeling to well and doesn't want anyone to notice and a little lipstick when it's called for, but that was really it.

As she sat there she began to remove her tan leather jacket and un-zip her brown leather boots. She stretched out her arms and legs and twisted her torso in an attempt to get the kinks out of her sore and bruised back. At some point, one of the Weevils, as Torchwood calls the carnivorous aliens, had tackled Sarah Jane to the ground and beat at her back until she succeeded in warding it away with a sonic wave pulse from her Sonic Lipstick (the amazing gadget that the Doctor had given her a few years back).

She was used to bullying, physical and emotional; she had been since she was nine years old. Her Aunt Lavinia had sent her to an all-girl boarding school at the age of eight, and everyone knows that the quiet, book-worm, know-it-all girl in the back of the class who is always talking to the teacher, is the first to take a blow from the populars.

Sarah Jane had never made more than one friend in that school, and that was Andrea Yates. Her and Andrea were polar-opposites, but they always kept their arguments verbal and friendly. Back then, Sarah was the gentle one and Andrea was always the outspoken dare-devil. Though after the accident that cost them Andrea's life, Sarah Jane took on the whole 'I don't Care' attitude and went around doing whatever she wanted, acting like she owned the place. If it wasn't for Andrea (and the Doctor), she wouldn't be anything like the Sarah Jane we know today.

After giving up trying to get her back to loosen, Sarah Jane curled up on the small sofa. 'Shadows fill an empty heart; as love is fading. All the things that we are; and are not saying. Can we see beyond the scars and make it to the dawn?' 'What About Now' by Chris Daughtry. She's had that song stuck in her head for a while now, at least a month, maybe two. Sarah Jane has always listened to music to express her emotions. Every since she was little, she had had problems talking about her feelings with anyone. 'After suffering so much betrayal, how does one learn to trust again?' That's what she would always say to anyone who asked why she wouldn't talk about her feelings; she was always being called in by the 'Guidance Counselors' and she never talked to a single one of them.

Sarah Jane tossed and turned, trying to get her body to fall victim to the blissful land of sleep and dream. She had always had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. When she did sleep, she had nothing but gruesome nightmares anyway. Eventually, she gave up, walked over to her desk, and turned her laptop on. "Might as well finish that article." She said to the empty room as she pulled up the article 'Opinions of Immigration to America', that she had been working on for the last two days. It was hard researching and writing up articles when your house is filled with loud and childish teenagers.

As she was finishing up with "We all have our own opinions, and I respect that, but these people deserve common curtsey, freedom, and at the very least some basic rights...", she began drifting in and out of consciousness. She saved her work, closed the laptop, and shuffled over to the sofa, before finally falling into a fitful sleep.

She tossed and turned all throughout the night. It was uncommon for her to stay asleep during her really terrifying nightmares, but she seemed to be engrossed in this one as if she didn't know it was all just a dream.

"NOOOO!" She screamed as she watched the Doctor get shot repeatedly in the chest as UNIT soldiers rained in around them. She was being held back by one of them. She wanted to take the bullets for him. She was nothing without him but he had to be the night in shining armor and take her place. The rains of gunfire echoing coldly in her head as the soldiers stop shooting and start bounding off on their merry way. The soldier who was holding her back let go off her forearms and pushed her away roughly, causing her to trip and go tumbling to the rocky dirt ground next to the Doctor's lifeless, bloodied body.

She crawled over to him and laid her head on his shoulder, crying into his pulled his limp body into her arms and cradled him to her heart, rocking back and forth. She heard someone approach her, but Sarah refused to turn away from her Doctor. Someone was calling her name, but it sounded distant so she ignored it. The mystery person put their hand on her shoulder and shook her lightly. "Sarah Jane? Sarah Jane, Wake up! Come on, it's just a bad dream!"

Sarah Jane shot up with a gasp, looking around frantically taking in her surroundings. The sun was seeping in through the open windows, burning her eyes. She was in the attic? She must have fallen asleep on the sofa after finishing up her article last night.

"Sarah Jane? Are you all right?"

That's when she noticed the three concerned young faces staring intently at her as if she was coughing up a lung or something.

"I-I'm fine Rani. Just a bad dream, no worries."

She tried to give Rani, Clyde, and Sky a reassuring smile. She sat up, raising a hand to her swimming head. Sky and Rani both took a seat next to her as Clyde handed her a steaming mug of tea. She accepted it with a smile, as Clyde sat down on the wooden floor in front of her. She took a deep breath and sighed.

Taking a sip from her tea she asks, "Exactly how long have you been here?"

"Just about ten minutes." Rani was the first to answer.

With Clyde quickly adding, "We didn't see you downstairs and figured you were still sleeping, so I made you some tea and we came looking for you. When we found you up here you were thrashing about and muttering about the Doctor and the 'Shadow' person. Figured it was best to wake you." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly.

Sarah Jane grinned back. "Thanks. I should know by now that you guys have my back."

Sky hugged Sarah Jane tight.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm just fine, sweetie. How about some breakfast? What time is it anyway?"

She stood up setting her mug on the coffee table and checking her watch. 6:40.

"Who's up for pancakes and eggs?"

"With bacon too!" Clyde makes sure to point out that it's not breakfast without bacon.

"Ever the guy, Clyde Langer!" Rani punches him playfully in the shoulder.

"Of coarse!" He bickers back as the party of four travel into the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 2: Stand In The Rain

**Chapter 2: Stand in the Rain**

After breakfast the kids set off to start their last week of school, leaving Sarah Jane alone again. When she's alone all the memories always come flooding back to her. The Doctor dumping her in Aberdeen, the thirty long years of waiting for him to come back, saying goodbye again, and her failed wedding to the now deceased Peter Dalton. Then comes all the older memories of her twisted childhood.

She's standing at the school gates, walking as fast as she could without being noticed. She's only a mere ten meters from her dormitory. Then it happens.

"Hey four eyes! Where do you think you're going?"

Four arms wrap around her and yank her, turning her towards the leader of the small group of girls who ran the school. They were all sixteen, and Sarah Jane was only ten. 'Here it comes' , she thought to herself as she covered her face and prepared herself for the teen to punch her, usually in the stomach to start. She waits, nothing happens, and she lowers her arms from her face.

BAM!

As soon as her hand are at her sides, she's punched in the face, sending her back onto the ground. The three girls all begin to kick her as she curls into a ball and waits for it to stop. 'They'll get tired eventually.' She resigns.

All of a sudden, someone yells out to them.

"HEY! KNOCK IT OFF! LEAVE HER ALONE!"

All the girls turn around to see a tall eleven year old with dirty blonde hair running towards them.

"Oh? And what are you gonna do 'bout it? Huh?"

Her smart remark is met with a fist to the face and then a knee to the stomach as she falls onto the ground. As soon as their little 'leader' is down the other two go running, but the blonde doesn't follow them. She kneels down next to Sarah Jane and pulls her into a hug as soon as she sees the tears running down Sarah's face.

"It's alright! Everything is going to be just fine. I'm Andrea, by the way. Andrea Yates."

That's when Sarah Jane looks up.

"H-Hi.."

"So. What's your name?"

"ah- Smith. Sarah Jane Smith. I haven't seen you around..."

"Yeah. I'm new, just got here today. Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I'm kinda used to it, you didn't have to do that."

"I wasn't going to let them beat on you. I think it's about time that stopped."

"Thanks. Do you know which dorm you're staying in." Sarah Jane asked as Andrea helps her up, then runs across the field to get her bag, and comes back over. Andrea put her arm around Sarah's shoulders and gives her a half-hug.

"Yeah. Building D: Floor 3: Room 298."

"That's my room, 298! We're going to be bunking together then!"

"Sweet. I like you. And, trust me, that's a lot coming from me!"

They memory fades out, their laughing ringing in Sarah Jane's ears. She shakes her head, sitting down in a kitchen chair. She hasn't thought about Andrea in a while. Well, anything's better than thinking about the Doctor and that nightmare right now. She got up and made herself a mug of tea before heading up to her bedroom.

She closes the door behind her and slips out of yesterday's clothes. Then she heads into her bathroom and starts the shower. After testing the water with her fingertips, she climbs in and steps directly under the shower head, letting the hot water run over her head and down her back. She takes a deep breath and then straightens up and starts washing her hair and body. When she was done she just stood under the water and closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

She turns off the taps and pulls the shower curtain back. Grabbing a towel off the shelf she wraps it around her and walks into her room. She sits down at her vanity and just stares at her reflection for a bit before drying her hair with her dark blue hair-dryer.

She throws on knickers, a pair of loose sweat pants, and a plain white t-shirt. Then runs the comb through her hair once more.

Sarah Jane then collapses onto her bed, drained of all energy. The bags under her eyes are even darker now. She stretches out then slips under her old blue quilt and falls over the edge of consciousness and into the realm of the dreams quicker than she ever has before. Little did she notice the grinding and wheezing sounds coming from her attic only ten minutes later.


End file.
